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Game Over? Your decision! - By Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
When a basketball team is down by 20 points with 30 seconds to go, giving up is
not an option. Spectators start leaving and reserve players take the floor, but
the game goes on.
When you`re playing a business game, you blow your own whistle. Here are some
ways to check the score.
1. How did you get started? Are you living your own dream or someone else`s?
2. Does a little voice in your head keep whispering, "Maybe you should be doing
X instead?"
3. Does your new idea refuse to go away? Or, if you try to leave, do you find
yourself getting caught up in a new project or unexpected reward?
One city`s "Entrepreneur of the Year" told a group, "I hated my business but
nobody would buy me out. To find a buyer, I developed a new strategy. Along the
way I found success ."
4. What is the universe telling you?
Are you getting customers?
Is your progress considerably faster or slower than your peers and competitors?
Has anything clicked into place for you, seemingly without effort?
5. What is your own historical trend? Do you tend to give up too easily or hang
on too long?
6. Are you still having fun?
Loss of enthusiasm can be temporary, especially if you`re fatigued or recovering
from a major setback. But long-term discouragement can signal a need for change.
7. Must your decision be either-or? Can you continue a business part-time with
a manager? Can you look for a new job but also start a business? Often someone outside
the situation -- consultant, coach, friend from another industry -- can provide
the insight that clarifies your choice.
Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., can help
you rebuild, remodel and revitalize your career. No-cost Report: Seven Tips to Mistake-Proof
Decisions. http://www.cathygoodwin.com/subscribe.html
How to Succeed in a Macho World - By Valerie Vauthey
Did you know that there was a time when women ruled the world? When the most revered
figures were females: goddesses, empresses, and mothers. but Three thousand years
ago, the vast majority of humanity abandoned goddesses for gods as our ancestors
settled and developed agriculture. This was the end of direct female domination.
Or was it? Thanks to their formidable inner-strength and to their unflinching determination,
women soon started to develop their very own talent to get what they desired, be
it a husband, a child, wealth, a house, and more. Women understood early on that
reaching their goals was far more important than the path they took to get to them.
Women understood before time that they should never let men feel they lost face
or have been manipulated. Women fundamentally knew that men needed to believe they
were responsible for their success to fully enjoy it. Women have always been aware
that confrontation was not the way to victory (ultimately).
How do these secularly developed techniques translate into today`s world? How
can we thrive in today`s macho business environment?
There are several ways to succeed. They might all be combined, or they can exist
individually ,which makes it fairly easy in the end to succeed in a macho world!
MyPrivateCoach conducted a survey where we asked 256 people if they agreed or
not on 8 statements and the results are exciting! (With a 50/50 men to women ratio.)
The vast majority of women think they need to behave like men to be successful whereas
men believe that what makes a woman successful is actually her femininity!
Just before sharing the results, Let one of our surveyed people, Rebecca, sum
up the fine line women are walking on when doing business in a macho world: "If
women are strong, they are ball busters, and if they show any weakness or softness,
they are little girls trying to play in a man`s world."
-1- Use feminine attributes (Men: 90% - Women: 25%)
Interestingly enough (and should I say, as expected), men and women are absolutely
not in agreement on this statement. Little girls` education gives us some undeniable
advantages to compete in a dominantly male group or company: better communication
skills, better empathy with colleagues and clients and most importantly, better
cooperation and better understanding of the modus operandi of our work mates. We
also have a body, a way of expressing our femininity, which men believe we try to
hide more often than we should. This is even truer since lawsuits against sexual
harassment started to take off. However, businessmen are begging us: be yourself!
You can dress professionally and in all your femininity without being provocative.
Be a woman and be proud of it (keep in mind though that a little pinch of perceived
vulnerability won`t hurt a bit). Yet, I do notice that many female executives and
CEO (still too rare) in the software, legal, banking and high-tech industry wear
rather conservative suits (usually pan ts) and short hair cut maybe something to
think about is this the reason for their success? Or are they trying to avoid despising
comments like: "I know how she climbed the ladder, short skirt and sexy attitudes".
-2- Talk about facts, not feelings (Men: 95% - Women: 30%)
Again, it all goes back to our childhood games and women tend to give more weight
to non-tangible elements than facts in a business relationship. While this attitude
can be a great sales closing tool, more often than not, it will hamper our efforts
in the day-to-day corporate world. Strive at not letting your emotions take over
facts. Do not take things personally. When you foresee your feelings may prevent
you from considering facts straight or negotiating successfully, sit back, relax
and reformulate your thoughts and ideas in a logical and rational way. Rather than
saying: "I like this idea", try to (think) and say: "This idea will work because
X YZ logical reason or marketing reason that we know about this audience". This
will make wonders in a male/female business relationship. If we look at what men
and women think about this statement, we get an enormous gap! Almost all men agree
on the fact that facts matter! Women don`t seem to realize how much of a showstopper
the "facts vs. emotions paradigm" is. < br />
-3- Don`t imitate male machismo (Men: 76% - Women: 20%)
Thriving in a high-profile executive job requires a "genetic" mutation: the development
of the thick skin (Men: 54% - Women: 89%) of a man to prevent direct attacks from
hurting while remaining soft so that not to hurt the male ego. The most effective
female business leaders I have met don`t try to imitate male machismo. They use
some "feminine" attributes such as greater attention to interpersonal interaction,
and a degree of approachability to lower people`s defensiveness. But underlying
this soft approach they remain focused on the bottom-line goals, express self-confidence
and succeed in achieving those goals without having the men around them feel that
they have lost face or been manipulated. Additionally, imitating is irritating.
And, though men are not people readers in general, they can see through a bad imitation
almost instantaneously.
-4- Be a warrior (Men: 25% - Women: 75%)
Let`s not deny it: not giving in male machismo does not mean we should all be
subdued to everything! Being a warrior, or developing a survivor`s spirit will help
women be more successful. NO question about it. Problem is: we are not wired to
accurately identify rivals. We are not wired to be warriors. We have to work on
becoming one. If you develop into a warrior yourself, think like men and play their
game. Since women have this great ability to adapt to nearly any situation, this
should not be too tough. This attitude paradoxically will help you mingle in men`s
groups where you are the only woman. Once blended in, remember to shift to a more
feminine (and more efficient) attitude.
-5- Treat men as equal (Men: 60% - Women: 76%)
Stop thinking he is man, I am woman, there must be some difference. By brainwashing
ourselves into thinking about differences, we focus on the wrong element. Let`s
stop thinking about differences, let`s believe about one species: the Business Homo
Sapiens Sapiens. Not a woman. Not a man.
-6- Learning when the game is over (Men: 82% - Women: 13%)
Going back years in history and recalling past events when in the heat of an
argument, is a woman`s all-times favorite. This childish attitude is particularly
detrimental to our business success in a dominant male world. What happened five
years ago, is over. No need to bring it to the (business) table anymore. Hey! I
know it is a hard one. We are wired to react this way but aren`t we also wired to
be extremely adaptive? ;-) Keep in mind that this wiring happens when we are very
young. Little boys are taught to play war games, sport games, which have a clear
end. We play dolls and cooking with no real clear-cut ending; it is more of a process
than of a timed game. Very interesting poll result where women do not consider this
attitude as a showstopper when it comes to their success in the corporate world.
I bet that you have found yourself using (consciously or not) one or more of
these key factors of success in the macho world, and discovered that it was not
THAT easy and THAT straightforward.
Recapturing the old women`s glory, not to mention its social, religious and political
power, is considered difficult if not unattainable. But is it necessary? I don`t
subscribe to this point of view. I don`t support allegation about gender struggle,
as I have never believed that businessmen and businesswomen were doomed to be at
odds.
The old dichotomy black/white, man/woman, power/submission is long gone. In 2004,
the "businesswoman homo sapiens" species has evolved and is now a patent pending
complex mix of 10% man, 2% warrior, 88% woman .and maybe some additional secret
things which we cannot publish here J I will leave the last words to one of the
surveyed man, who is definitely not a macho: "best way to succeed in a macho world
is to make up your own rules, rather than compete with the macho element The bottom
line is that the macho thing may look formidable, but it`s really not an effective
business strategy; (my opinion) it lacks subtlety "
Valerie Vauthey, 2004. All rights reserved worldwide. Valerie Vauthey is the
founder of MyPrivateCoach.com. This
article may be reprinted without permission so long as
MyPrivateCoach.com is credited and a
valid link to the site is posted along with the article.
Valerie Vauthey is the CEO and
founder of the #1 Worldwide Coaching company:
MyPrivateCoach and the President of
the Silicon Valley Coachville Chapter.
Project index
- Stress & Memory - by Susie Mantell
- ONE SENTENCE YOU SHOULD COMMIT TO MEMORY - By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
- Remembering intended actions and future events - By Dr Fiona McPh
- Want to Improve Your Memory? Expand Your Mind at Memory School. - By
- Suicide: In Memory - By Kay Kopit
- Alzheimer`s, Memory Loss and Beta Amyloid. - By Larry Richards
- Brain Fog - Memory Loss - Alzheimer`s, Can something be done about i
- How to Remember Anything - By Rob Watson
- Brains on Fire: The Multimodality of Gifted Thinkers - By Brock Eide
- Memory Techniques for Foreign Languages - by Richard Rubin
- Practical Steps of Enchantment - By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
- Creating A Memory Album - by D. Anderson
- 10 Ideas to Help You Remember - by Maria Gracia
- Life, The Greatest Ride of All - By Dr.Barbara Becker Holstein
- You Are The Greatest Computer Ever Created! - By Ron White
- Strategic Storytelling for Business Presentations - By Doug Stevenson
- Mythological Messages from the Body-Mind
- SPEED READING: Eye-Distance - By H. Bernard Wechsler
- THE SMILING GAME - by Steve Goodier
- Improve Your Golf Game by Learning About Your Grip - By Ben Poston
- I?m Sorry! Blame-Game or Accountability? - By Sharon Ellison
- laying Baby Computer Games ? The New Parent-Child Tradition? - By Emma
- Having Your Buttons Pushed Even After Your Divorce is Completed! - By R
- Money Lessons From Cashflow 101 - By PT Cheng
- Staying in the Game - By Nan S. Russell
- Lessons about Life in an Unexpected Place - By Essa Alraune
- They?re on The Ball - By Leah Lauber
- Discount Video games, PC games & educational PC Softwares at SosDeal
- Multicultural Chaos - By Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ
- WIN THE ?YEAH BUT? GAME in 5 Easy Steps - By Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
- The Big Game: The Tug of War of Life - by Lynne Namka ?1991
- ARE SPORTS HEROES MORE TROUBLE-PRONE? - By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
- Little Things - by Donald Schnell
- Laughing Toward Truth: Six Tips for Lighthearted Thinkers - By Maya Tali
- Game Over? Your decision! - By Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D.
- Ending the When-Then Game - By Irette Patterson
- WINNING: DEFINING IT. ACHIEVING IT - By Chris Widener
- Golf anybody? - By Frank J. Peter, editor at LearnAboutGolf.com
- Massage Your Mind!: Are You Living In A Cave? - By Maya Talisman
- The Common Relationship Game of `Gotcha` - By Susie and Otto Collins
- January Soul Snacks - By Susie Cortright
- 20 Ways to Shift Worry Into Attractive Energy - By Catherine Franz
- Introverts! Recover Your Holidays with this 5 Stage Game Plan from the Introv
- Unconscious - By Lee Stang
- Book Excerpt: Einstein Never Used Flash Cards - By Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph
- For the Fun of It! - by Colleen Kilpatrick
- THE SUCCESS SERIES - by Christine DeCorte
- Sports Creativity in Your Own Backyard - by Marty Schupak
- SHOOTING FROM THE LIP- It`s a deadly game - by Oscar Bruce
- All in the Perspective - by Sharon Davis
- Chessmaster BIZ Secrets - "Love What You Do" - By Lou Kent
- ADHD & Gambling "What are the odds?" - By Patrick J. Hurley
- Sports CoachesNeed An Edge Too - Better Mental Development - by David Wan
- How To Get Your Child Started in Golf - By US Golf Camps
- CAN A MAN AVOID GAME PLAYERS WHEN USING THE PERSONALS? - by Success C
- The Confidence Game - By Mark Silver
- Focus and Concentration - By Dr. Laura De Giorgio
- Do Men who Understand Women have a Game Plan? - by Doc Love
- How to Succeed in a Macho World - By Valerie Vauthey
- The Power of the Present Moment - By Joseph Mathews
- Play Your Bigger Game - by Molly Gordon
- The Innersense Game` for Life Guidance - by Lee Harris
- How are you dealing with your feelings about the war? - By John Gray
- US Women Soccer Superstars - Victims of Their Own Success - By Chris L
- A Dream Inside of YOU - By Danish Ahmed
- You Failed, So What: You Just Got One Step Closer to Success - By Fabio ?fab
- Your Friends and Your Wealth - By PT Cheng
- WHY? Why do I need self-help? - By STAR LEE
- Playing tettis with time managment
- Additional Websites
- Coaching and Realizing your Full Potential - By Irma Gonzalez
- Is Life Real? Life Is the Experience You Give It - By Miami Phillips
- 8 BOXING LESSONS YOU CAN USE TO SELL MORE !!! - By Joel "DoubleSeller" Mendoza
- Want to have a baby? - By Giuditta Tornetta, CD, CLE, CCH
- I Want a Cold! - By Chuck Smith
- Self-Esteem in the Performance Arts - By Dr. Patrick J. Cohn
- Building Self Esteem and Confidence - By Julie Plenty
- Planning for Success? Don`t Leave Out the Most Important Ingredient!
- World Peace Starts with Inner Peace - By Carol Morgan, Ph.D.
- Reluctant to Try Golf Instruction - By Perry Andrisen
- Make Mistakes! It`s Okay. Really! - By Ronnie Nijmeh
- One Potato, Two Potato . . .French Fries . . . Couch Potato? - By Dr. Mic
- How Do You Know if You Have Manic-Depression - By Michael G. Raye
- Panic Attacks: Effective Ways to Cope - By Michael G. Rayel, MD
- Three Proven Ways To Leverage the Big Power of Small Changes - By Dr. Ste
- A Sense of Humor in the Workplace Is it me? Or, was that not funny?
- 7 Secrets To High Performance Thinking - By John Colanzi
- Are You Using a Chess or Checkers Small Business Marketing Strategy?
- Questions for the Game of Life - By Maureen Killoran
- Victim Mentality - By Barbara Baker
- Putting Fun Into Parenting - By David Stoepker, Psy.D., & Erin Brown Con
- Game Plan Your Future - By Mr. Sandeep Manudhane
- How Doing Yoga For Golf On The Ball Can Quickly Improve Women Golfers` Bal
- Stress & Memory - by Susie Mantell
- ONE SENTENCE YOU SHOULD COMMIT TO MEMORY - By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
- Remembering intended actions and future events - By Dr Fiona McPh
- Want to Improve Your Memory? Expand Your Mind at Memory School. - By
- Suicide: In Memory - By Kay Kopit
- Alzheimer`s, Memory Loss and Beta Amyloid. - By Larry Richards
- Brain Fog - Memory Loss - Alzheimer`s, Can something be done about i
- How to Remember Anything - By Rob Watson
- Brains on Fire: The Multimodality of Gifted Thinkers - By Brock Eide
- Memory Techniques for Foreign Languages - by Richard Rubin
- Practical Steps of Enchantment - By Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
- Creating A Memory Album - by D. Anderson
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