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US Women Soccer Superstars - Victims of Their Own Success - By Chris Lauber
With the imminent retirement of long-time veterans Mia Hamm, Julie Foudy, and Joy
Fawcett from the U.S. Women`s National Soccer Team, I often find myself thinking
how fortunate my family has been to witness their heroics on the field and their
positive influence off of it.
But the last game we saw in person stands out as a very different experience
from the first game we saw nearly nine years ago.
Last summer, I attended a soccer match between Brazil and the United States Women?s
National Team in New Orleans with my teenage daughter, Leah. It was a great game
with plenty of action on a beautiful, sunny afternoon, and the U.S. Team won on
a Tiffeny Milbrett goal in the 90th minute.
For Leah and I, it was a bittersweet experience.
It was a wonderful ?dad and daughter? 42-hour trip from our home in St. Petersburg,
Florida to New Orleans and back again. We talked, we laughed, and we listened to
each other?s music for each of the 20 hours and 1393 miles in the car. During our
short stay, we visited Bourbon Street at night and the Cafe du Monde for breakfast.
But our journey`s focus was to see our soccer heroes in action again. That?s
right, I said OUR heroes. Ever since that rainy night in February of 1996 when we
first saw our National Team play in Tampa, these outstanding women became my heroes
every bit as much as my daughters? heroes.
I remember being awestruck as I watched them for the first time ? their skills,
their strength, and their obvious passion for the game. But it was after the game,
that I was won over as a dedicated fan.
Earlier that day, Nicole, my younger daughter, asked me if she should bring her
Official U.S. Women?s National Team Calendar for autographs. My response: ?This
is our National Team with the best players in the world. I really doubt you will
get any autographs," I said. "With the rainy weather, you don?t want to ruin your
calendar, but bring your autograph book, just in case.?
When the game ended, I couldn`t believe my eyes. Every single player came over
to the bleachers where about 1,900 spectators anxiously waited. Not only were they
willing to sign autographs, but EACH OF THE PLAYERS HAD THEIR OWN PENS! They talked
with the fans, posed for pictures, and most importantly, they really seemed to enjoy
doing it. We were immediately hooked.
Since then, we`ve been extremely fortunate to witness some of their most important
games: the 1996 Olympic Gold Medal match in Atlanta, the historic 1999 Women?s World
Cup Championship game in Los Angeles, and even Mia Hamm?s record-breaking moment
for career goals in Orlando in 1999.
We?ve had several encounters with the players, including clinics, autograph sessions,
and we even attended a few training sessions in Orlando. Five years ago, while Leah
worked as a junior reporter for the St. Petersburg Times, she wrote five features
for the weekly X-Press Page for kids.
Along the way, Leah interviewed nearly every team member and even Head Coach
Tony DiCicco. Afterwards, at the age of twelve, she wrote a book, Soccer Dreams,
to share her adventure, promote the positive values she learned from the team, and
to encourage readers to DREAM BIG! It was published last year and has earned very
positive customer reviews at Amazon.com.
So our commitment to the Women?s National Team runs deep. As a family, soccer
has been a unifying force ever since Leah and Nicole played on the same U-8 team,
which I coached. This great sport has provided us with countless memories, as participants
and as spectators.
So why, you might wonder, was it bittersweet in New Orleans, to see our team
again after more than four years of nothing but televised games? Most of the players
were the same, and they all had the same intensity on the field we?ve come to expect.
But this time, the team had already broken through. Ever since the 1999 Women?s
World Cup, huge crowds cheer them on wherever they play. In New Orleans that day,
they played in front of 15,000 spectators, with a live national television audience
and a horde of media members reporting their every move.
They were enjoying all the fruits of their many years of labor. Their dreams
of just a few years ago, playing in front of huge crowds, of being recognized, had
been realized - repeatedly.
In the beginning, we wanted nothing more than for these players to be given their
due, for them to enjoy their success. Now they are living like the superstars they
have always been, with fans hanging out in their hotel lobby and screaming for autographs
wherever they go. Easy access is probably gone forever. Recognizing and understanding
that was an eye-opener.
Imagine being a Bruce Springsteen fan in the early Stone Pony days, before he
rocketed to worldwide fame and glory. Perhaps you had a chance to talk to him, maybe
even hang out with him. While you knew he was something special and you wanted him
to reach the rarefied air of superstardom, once he did, your little secret was out.
No more casual chats. No more hanging out. Now you?re lucky to get an overpriced
ticket in the nosebleed seats from a scalper.
But of course, like Bruce, try as they might, our National Team can no longer
satisfy everyone. They still carry their own pens for autographs after the games,
but now there are increased post-game media demands.
While goalkeeper Briana Scurry did the post-game ESPN interview that day in New
Orleans, forwards Cindy Parlow and Mia Hamm were the first to be interviewed by
the local media, followed by forward Tiffeny Milbrett, defender Brandi Chastain,
and Head Coach April Heinrichs. The rest of the players signed autographs, but with
15,000 fans, it was simply impossible to accommodate every fan.
Leah didn?t try to acquire autographs that day. She already has plenty, and on
that day, we also had field photo credentials. Not only is autograph-collecting
taboo for "objective" journalists, but our memories of the game will be in the photos
we captured.
After the game, as the players boarded the bus, I saw one woman approach a team
official. She was ranting and raving that she had driven five hours to bring her
daughter to the game and that her daughter didn?t get any autographs from the players.
The team official explained that the players signed autographs for a half hour INSIDE
the stadium, which was true.
Apparently, this woman and her daughter had been positioned in the wrong place
and were headed home empty-handed. As she stormed off, she yelled, ?BOOO Women?s
National Team!! I?ll never come to another game! BOOO!?
I am certain other fans left empty-handed as well or disappointed with just one
or two autographs. I am also certain this woman?s experience will be repeated during
the current 10-game Fan`s Celebration Tour and at future games as well.
Our National Team players are victims of their own success. After working so
hard, for so long, to develop their fan support, it is simply impossible for them
to continue to be so accessible and provide autographs to every fan who wants one.
So if you are lucky enough to see our National Team play this year or in any
other games in the future, go to enjoy the skill, the intensity and the passion
these gifted athletes put into their effort. If you are really lucky, and do get
an autograph or two, even better.
But you shouldn?t be disappointed if you don?t get any autographs. And you should
forewarn your kids that it might not be possible this time around, which will lessen
their disappointment.
Finally, as you?re driving home, take advantage of the opportunity to focus with
your kids on the positive values (hard work, commitment, perseverance) these incredible
athletes exemplify. Those are lessons we should want all our children to learn.
Chris Lauber is the photographer,
editor, and publisher of Soccer Dreams, written by his daughter, Leah, to describe
her true adventure following the U.S. Women?s National Soccer Team, as a fan and
12-year-old Junior Reporter during the historic 1999 Women?s World Cup. It is receiving
excellent customer reviews at Amazon.com. Purchase Soccer Dreams at Amazon on November
8th and receive numerous bonuses. To receive an update, send us an e-mail to
WWCSoccerDreams@aol.com
http://www.SoccerDreamsBook.com
WIN THE ?YEAH BUT? GAME in 5 Easy Steps - By Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
WIN THE ?YEAH BUT? GAME in 5 Easy Steps
You know the game, don?t you? Someone invites you to help them solve a big problem
and every great suggestion you make is met with, ?Yeah, but that won?t work because?.?
Frustrated and defeated, you finally give up.
Next time someone tells you about a problem, use these steps.
1. Listen politely, without offering any suggestions. Remember, it is not your
problem.
2. Affirm that the problem is really important. Just say, ?That sounds like a
really big problem.?
3. Ask, ?What have you already tried (thought of) doing about the problem?? You
learn all the suggestions to scratch off your list. And you subtly reinforce the
capabilities of the person with the problem.
4. After you hear the answer, ask, ?How did that work out?? You invite the problem
holder to rethink his or her own challenge. Often that leads to a solution on the
spot, with thanks to you for your brilliant suggestions. (Of course, you have not
made any suggestions, but that doesn?t really matter.)
5. Ask, ?Is there anything you would like from me?? Often the answer will be,
?No thanks, I have figured out what to do next.? If you are invited to do something
more, you can choose to accept or decline with a much broader understanding of the
problem.
These steps will help you resist your own tendency to try to be a hero by solving
someone else?s problem, usually before they even ask for your help. This game usually
starts by someone lamenting about a problem instead of asking for help to solve
it.
The invitation you are learning to decline is really about proving that the problem
is unsolvable, that nobody can help, and that the problem holder is justified in
giving up and doing nothing further about the problem.
Instead, you affirm the problem holder?s skill and resourcefulness, without getting
involved in the game. And you may become the hero after all.
Copyright 2004 Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
Permissions:
You may publish this article free of charge in your ezine, web site, ebook or
print publication so long as the copyright notice and the resource paragraph (at
the end of the article) are included.
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
Email: media@laurieweiss.com
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., author of
Dare To Say It!, is an internationally known executive coach, psychotherapist, and
author. For more simple secrets for turning difficult conversations into amazing
opportunities for cooperation and success, visit
http://www.DareToSayIt.com or email:
feedback@laurieweiss.com
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