Mnemonic games

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I Want a Cold! - By Chuck Smith

"Honey, can I have a cup of lemon tea," my wife asked me the other day. Normally, my wife doesn`t ask me to do anything, knowing my laziness has no bounds. But my wife had a cold - a very bad cold.

For most illnesses, my wife would just "suck it up" and get her cute little behind out of bed, fully realizing that nothing would get done around the house without her. But today, she was lingering beneath the bed covers. That`s how I knew she was really sick.

My wife is tougher than Randall "Tex" Cobb on his best day (and for those of you who don`t know who Randall "Tex" Cobb is - shame on you!). Her finely developed sense of martyrdom compels her to force herself into activity, even in the face of the killer cold. Being the caring husband that I am (and not wanting her germs spread through the entire house), I suggested she stay in bed.

So, even though it was a Sunday, which is a very inconvenient day for her to be sick (because I usually park my large, ugly behind on my favorite chair and watch TV all day), I knew I would have to "suck it up" and do something feared by most men. Parenting.

For me, watching the kids for an entire day is nothing short of exhausting. And the kids don`t seem to want to make it any easier for me. You`d think they`d just sit there and watch TV all day, like Daddy.

But no. They want me to feed them. I made my first blunder by asking what they wanted to eat. "Pancakes," shouted my daughter. "Buttery eggs," shouted my son. "How about cereal?" shouted Daddy. Unfortunately, since I`d already made the mistake of asking, I was trapped.

Lucky for me, my wife has the good sense to purchase microwave pancakes and egg beaters just for these kinds of emergencies. I was saved from forcing Cocoa Puffs down the kids` throats, and after getting most of the dishes into the sink, I tried to sit down and watch TV with the kids.

"I want to watch Nickelodeon," griped my son. "I want to watch the Disney Channel," moaned my daughter. "I want to watch ESPN," I whined. Right away, they knew to ignore me. So it became a contest of evenly matched opponents.

The next 15 minutes involved both of them trying to make their cases to me while attempting to harass or cajole the other to their side. I finally put an end to it by switching to ESPN. Instantly, they were comrades in arms, and presented a united front in their TV viewing preference.

I went upstairs to see if the wife was feeling any better (in hopes that she would come downstairs and relieve me of my parenting misery). She was still sleeping, but I`m pretty sure she could hear my footsteps and closed her eyes as I approached. Note to self - get some slippers with a soft sole.

Having "made" breakfast, I decided to save myself a little work and hit the drive-thru at McDonald`s. Even a decision as simple as taking the easy way out and feeding my kids fat-laden fast food is an exercise in humility.

You can`t just order a regular meal with my kids. My daughter won`t eat cheese and doesn`t like onions on her burger. My son won`t eat anything but cheese and bread, so I have to order a cheeseburger without the meat, onions, ketchup, mustard, or pickles. Just cheese and a bun. And God forbid if you forget to ask for a girl`s toy for her and a boy`s toy for him.

I don`t know how my wife does it. I couldn`t even relax after lunch because the kids had other plans. They wanted to play games. We decided to play Funny Bunny. This game makes Chutes and Ladders seem like chess, involving no skill whatsoever. I still couldn`t win.

Having exhausted my supply of stupid game patience, I went and checked on the wife. She was starting to feel a little bit better, so she asked me to bring her some more tea and to prop up her pillows so she could watch some Lifetime chick-flick movie.

I think I`ll use her toothbrush tonight to see if I can catch her cold. Seems like a pretty good gig. At least it`s a heck of a lot easier than parenting.

Chuck Smith`s Brain Sediment is designed for nothing more noble than to make you smile. Chuck is, for the most part, a happily married man who is doing his best to raise a couple of rambunctious children while working in high tech. Chuck can be reached at mailto:csmith@brainsediment.com, and you can see past Brain Sediment columns at http://www.brainsediment.com.

THE SMILING GAME - by Steve Goodier

THE SMILING GAME

It`s been said that a smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head and the heating system of the heart. But a smile is also a powerful weapon against negativity of all kinds.

Lisa Gurnsey, of Portland, Oregon, wrote to me about a man whose smile quite literally changed her life: "I was having a horrible day -- hating my job, tired of the weather, tired of trying to keep up on bills, and just completely stressed out. I stopped at the post office in the morning and, as I was entering, an older business man commented to me that it was going to be a good day and life shouldn`t be as bad as I make it look. I glared at him and simply said, `I wish it was Friday.`

"I felt better about my day when I left the post office that man`s smile and comment, although irritating at first, made me think.

"The second time I ran into the man I went out of my way to say `Happy Friday` to him and to smile. I saw him a few more times and always he was cheery and `made my day.`

"I looked for him around Christmastime to give him a card and explain how his kind words and smile that very first day made me regroup my thinking and realize I didn`t have it so bad. But I have not seen him at the post office since then. I look every morning I go at different times to see if I can catch him. Maybe he retired, maybe he is ill. I think to myself, `I wish I had thanked him for being a kind person.` I can honestly say this man changed my life. I will work to spread that same feeling to those I see in need of a smile."

Speaker Josh Hinds makes this suggestion: "Play the smiling game in your daily life. See how many people you can get to smile back at you. Keep score and tally the results at the end of each day."

That sounds like a game we can all play. The rules are simple. There are lots of winners. And who knows you may even "make" someone`s day -- even if that someone is you!

? 2002 Steve Goodier

Steve Goodier holds a B.A. in anthropology and sociology and a M.Div. degree from Emory University. He is the author of numerous books about personal development, motivation, inspiration, and making needed life changes. He has been published in ?Reader?s Digest,? several Chicken Soup for the Soul books and other books, magazines and newspapers.

He is the founder and publisher of Your Life Support System, an e-zine with 150,000 subscribers since 1999. Through this daily e-mail newsletter, he sends out hope and encouragement to a worldwide community of readers. His syndicated column appears in numerous newspapers, magazines and newsletters.

Steve Goodier has been a professional speaker for over 25 years and produced a daily inspirational radio program. He presently works from his mountain home in Colorado. Steve Goodier is a local author and former church minister in Colorado Springs.

Steve Goodier

Your Life Support System

P. O. Box 237

Divide, Colorado 80814

Publisher@LifeSupportSystem.com

http://www.LifeSupportSystem.com

719-686-8921, 877-344-0989

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