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Self-Esteem in the Performance Arts - By Dr. Patrick J. Cohn
Many athletes and performers I work with often wrongly determine their self-worth
by how successful they feel about their career. When an athlete performs well or
feels successful, he or she can feel good about him or herself. But the opposite
is also true: despair and low self-esteem results when this person does not perform
well or view him or herself as a failure. Self-esteem is a core issue in my work
because it affects every aspect of your life, not just dancing.
Ballerinas are especially vulnerable to this problem of attaching self-esteem
to one?s performances because you are judged by how you look and how well you perform.
However, society sends subtle signals that you must achieve in your career to feel
worthy as a person and that is the trap that many athletes fall into. In addition,
if you are perfectionistic, it doesn?t help your self-esteem because you have such
high expectations and are always so critical and hard on yourself.
If you fall into this trap, your emotions and how you feel about yourself are
heavily influenced by the perceptions of your performance, which can naturally vary
from day to day. Thus, one day you have self-esteem and the next day it erodes due
to what you think is a poor performance or practice. One girl in my seminar stated:
?Even if I felt I had a flawless performance, if I did not get a good audience reaction
or the reaction I was looking for, I feel like a failure.? This statement highlights
how out of control one can feel about his or her success or failure in dance, and
thus make negative judgments about one?s performance.
What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is the regard you hold for yourself. All of
you have a concept of your person (self-concept). If you like your self-concept
(who you think you are), then you have self-esteem. Self-confidence is different.
Self-confidence is the belief in your ability to perform a task?it is not a judgment.
You can have self-confidence, but not self-esteem, and vise versa. Optimally, you
want both?high self-confidence in your abilities and self-regard.
Self-esteem should be based on who you are as a person instead of how well you
can perform in dance or how high you go in a dance career. Think about this: if
you take away the part of you who is a dancer, how would you describe yourself?
What are your personal characteristics that describe you? This is what self-esteem
should be based on. If you feel like you struggle with self-esteem, have hope. Here
are some other ideas about gaining self-esteem:
Assume the Role
When you are dancing, you are in the role of the ballerina. You want to be into
that role fully when practicing and performing, but when you leave the studio or
stage, it?s time to switch roles into other parts of your life and let go of judgments.
Don?t superimpose the role of a dancer (or how well you can perform) into other
areas of your life.
True Friends
People, who are your true friends and family members, love you for who you are
as a person first. They don?t judge you based on your performance or change their
view of you because of how well you can dance. If they do, they are not your true
friends. They like you for what you bring to a relationship as a person, not as
a ballerina.
Stop the Comparisons
You do yourself harm by making comparisons to other dancers who you think are
better or more talented than you. This only serves to hurt your self-esteem and
confidence because you put others on a pedestal and criticize your faults. Everyone
is unique. Think about how well you did compared to your last performance instead
of making comparisons to others.
Accept Your Body Image
I know many dancers worry about their body not being the perfect type for ballet.
No one can be perfect or has the perfect body for ballet. Some people are born with
more hand-eye coordination, stamina, or balance, but that?s what makes us unique.
Accepting your body image is the first step to gaining self-esteem. Make the best
of what you have by focusing on your strengths and capabilities as a dancer!
Balance in Life
If your life is dance, you are at greater risk for self-esteem problems because
you have ?all your eggs in one basket? and can?t separate the different roles in
you life. Strive to find a balance in your life with your family, school, dance,
friends, and other career aspirations. This will help take the pressure off your
dance and allow your self-esteem to grow.
Be Your Own Best Coach
You are your own worst critic and your best friend wrapped into one. We are often
harder on ourselves than we are on our best friends. What would you say to a best
friend that is feeling down? Can you be at least that supportive of yourself? Always
give yourself words of encouragement and reward after a performance or practice.
Pretend you have the most positive coach on your shoulder giving words of encouragement.
Define Your Self-Concept Outside of Dance
A good exercise is to define who you are outside your dance career. Use only
descriptions that apply to your personal characteristics that you bring to every
aspect of your life. Make a list of these positive characteristics and review them
every day. Do you like what you see? If so, you have self-esteem. Is there something
you don?t like? Is so, work to change that aspect of you.
Dr. Patrick J. Cohn is a master
mental game coach who works with athletes of all levels including amateur and professionals.
Visit Peaksports.com to gain access to over 500 exclusive mental game articles,
audio programs, and interviews with athletes and coaches to enhance your athletic
potential: www.peaksports.com/membership
or call 888-742-7225.
Managing Stress in Body, Mind & Spirit - By
Dawn Groves
The word ?stress? conjures a variety of unpleasant images: workaholism, muscle pain, exhaustion, short temper, sleeplessness. Stress management rivals weight loss as topic du jour for magazines, newspapers, even books. As a result, now there?s another familiar association to stress reduction: boredom. That?s because despite the compelling new research about its long-term effects, the most effective tools to manage it haven?t changed for aeons!
They are: 1) get enough sleep, 2) eat healthful foods, 3) exercise regularly.
Go ahead, yawn. These topics are covered ad nauseum in just about every magazine. We already know they?re important. So why don?t we actually do them?
We?re bored. Most of us would prefer something more exotic or entertaining.
We have self-improvement fatigue. Some of us have successfully changed a few habits; we?re tired and want that to be enough.
We`re impatient. We don`t want to work with nature; we`re used to jumping over it.
We`re waiting for the perfect time. We put off developing new habits until the holidays are over, classes are done, bills are paid, etc.
We don?t like it hard. We?ve lost touch with the value that comes from effort and we?ve gotten a little lazy.
Changing your lifestyle to reduce your stress level is no small task. However, we now know that it is more than just preferable or even important ? it?s crucial. Research clearly demonstrates that long term chronic stress emotionally and physically breaks us down. Our sleep cycle ? the foundation of mental and physical health ? is the first to go. Next comes an increased risk of bacterial infections, susceptibility to viruses, respiratory problems, and gastrointestinal problems, increased insulin levels causing fat deposits around your waist, increased risk of heart attack, insulin resistance and diabetes, high blood pressure and higher cholesterol levels.
According the National Institute of Mental Health, 75 to 90 percent of all doctor visits are prompted by stress-related concerns.
Dharma Singh Khalsa, MD, president and medical director for The Alzheimer`s Prevention Foundation International in Tuscon, AZ, believes that current research supports a disturbing theory: ongoing elevated levels of cortisol can destroy optimal brain function and block memory. ?This is why I believe that the inability to recall names, numbers, and memories, as people enter the baby-boom generation, is increasing,? Dr. Khalsa writes. ?While I used to see patients primarily in their sixties or seventies, now folks as young as fifty are requesting to work with me.?
Despite the overwhelming evidence that long term stress is seriously bad for us, most of us still have a hard time changing our behavior to cope with it.
We can?t scare ourselves into sustained healthy habits. Unless it is personalized, the edge of energy that fear provides will be dampened and eventually worn away by day-to-day distractions. So the question is, how can we motivate ourselves to change what we know needs changing?
Buddhism may have an answer: It involves the conscious development of a mental state known as a ?beginner?s mind.? A beginner?s mind looks at old material with new eyes. It consciously sets aside the jaded, sophisticated, often cynical mind-set that dampens enthusiasm and devalues the tried and true. A beginner?s mind understands that every day you are a different person. Today, this moment, old information can reach you in a new way, with greater depth and more power. A beginner?s mind says, ?There?s more to this. Maybe there?s something I?ve missed.?
Beginners mind is really an attitude. Because attitudes can be cultivated, even the most stressed psyche can find a way to open up to possibility. When it comes to stress reduction, a beginners mind is a great way to start. Here are a few suggestions:
Use information to jumpstart motivation. Learn why you should reduce stress. The motivation it generates may not have staying power, but it can help jumpstart change.
Create a morning ?wake-up? phrase. Positive self-talk is powerful. For example, you might say ?I?m a different person today; I can walk a different path.?
Take it one day at a time. Don?t make this too complicated. Beginner?s minds can?t be forced; they must be nurtured and practiced. When you fall into old patterns, use a beginner?s mind to view them from a new perspective.
Develop a daily meditation practice. Meditation is one of the best ways to grow a beginners mind because it places teaches you how to de-emphasize the old mental tapes that drive unconscious behavior. Explore the meditation classes in your area and find a style that suits you.
Go into a situation intending to receive value from it. Remember that energy follows intention.
If, after reading this article, you still feel ambivalent about reducing stress, let me offer a final word. No matter how pressing your current issues may seem, they typically have a short, intense shelf life. Tomorrow, next month, next year you?ll hardly remember what drove you to distraction today. However, these same issues leave a wake of weakened bones, extra body weight, neuromuscular degeneration, relationship problems, and immune system damage, and memory problems that can multiply. If there was ever a time to get serious about stress reduction, it is now.
** Dawn Groves is a minister, author, and educator. She is also a keynote motivational speaker well known for her dynamic teaching style, warm presence, and accessible wisdom.
STRESS REDUCTION FOR BUSY PEOPLE: Finding Peace in an Anxious World by Dawn Groves, $12.95, Trade Paperback, Order Toll-free: 1-800-972-6657 Ext. 52 or at: www.newworldlibrary.com
Dawn Groves is a minister, author, and educator. She is also a keynote motivational speaker well known for her dynamic teaching style, warm presence, and accessible wisdom. As the author of Meditation for Busy People and Yoga for Busy People (over 60,000 copies sold,) Dawn clearly addresses the challenges of people who are attempting to combine professional achievement, spiritual growth, and a balanced lifestyle. She teaches workshops and classes for the government, private industry, community colleges, and spiritual centers throughout the United States and Canada. She lives in Bellingham, Washington.
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